|
| You have so many relationships in this life,
But only one or two will last.
You go through all the pain and strife,
Then you turn your back and they’re gone so fast.
Oh yeah. they’re gone so fast.
Oh, so hold on to the ones who really care,
In the end they’ll be the only ones there.
When you get old and start losing your hair,
Can you tell me who will still care?
Can you tell me who will still care? oh care.
Chorus:
Mmmbop, ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do. oh yeah,
Mmmbop ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do bop,
Ba duba dop ba do
Oh yeah, in an mmmbop they’re gone. yeah.
Plant a seed, plant a flower,
Plant a rose, you can plant any one of those
Keep planting to find out which one grows.
It’s a secret no one knows.
It’s a secret no one knows.
Oh, no one knows.
(repeat chorus twice....)
...hanson was so emo.
| | |
| "WHACKO BOY AND THE DETACHED HEART"
FADE IN:
EXT. MYSTERIOUS HOUSE- MORNING
A shady residence lies at the end of a long cul-de-sac. All the
curtains are drawn. At the other end of the cul-de-sac stand two
neighborhood bullies, one a scrawny short fellow named Conway, the
other one a big n’ tall boy named Clevis.
CONWAY
There's Whacko Boy's house.
CLEVIS
You think he’s home?
CONWAY
I don't know. Why? Are you friends with whacko boy?
CLEVIS
I’m not friends with whacko boy. Are you friends with whacko boy?
CONWAY
Do I look like I’m friends with whacko boy?
Suddenly, the front door to the mysterious house opens, and out comes
Whacko Boy; a tall, skinny, scrawny teenage kid. He wears nerdy
eyeglasses and mismatched winter clothes, and has a beat up old
messenger bag draped around his shoulder. He holds a tightly sealed
shoebox in his hands as he walks out of the house.
CLEVIS
Hey, he’s coming out!
(laugh)
Look at him!
CONWAY
He’s carrying the shoebox. Why’s he always carrying the shoebox?
CLEVIS
What’s he got in that shoebox anyway?
CONWAY
I don’t know... but something tells me it's definitely not shoes. Come on.
The two follow a ways behind Whacko Boy as he turns down a sidewalk.
SIDEWALK- MOMENTS LATER
As Whacko Boy strolls along down the sidewalk, Clevis and Conway catch up to him.
CLEVIS
Hey, Whacko Boy!
Conway comes up from behind.
CONWAY
What’s in the shoebox, Whacko Boy?
Clevis comes up on the other side.
CLEVIS
Yeah, what’s in the shoebox, Whacko Boy?
Whacko Boy stops walking and looks at the two blankly. They stand next to each other right in front of him.
CONWAY
Aren’t you gonna tell us what’s in the shoebox, Whacko Boy?
CLEVIS
Yeah, come on, Whacko Boy! We want to know!
CONWAY
I don’t think he’s gonna tell us.
CLEVIS
I guess we’ll just have to look for ourselves.
They laugh stupidly, reach for the box in Whacko Boy's hands, and open it up.
CU- SHOEBOX
Inside is a great big beating HEART, soaked in blood and pumping furiously.
CLEVIS AND CONWAY
They freak out, screaming like girls.
SIDEWALK- WIDE SHOT
Clevis and Conway go running off as fast as they can. Whacko Boy watches
them go, then looks down at the open box. He closes it, and continues
on down the sidewalk.
CUT TO:
PARK- DAY
Whacko Boy sits alone in the park, reading a book. His shoebox is
next
to him on the edge of the bench. As he reads, the sound of a clicking
camera catches his attention, and he peeks up over the edge of his
book.
Coming his way is an eccentric-looking PHOTO GIRL dressed in a dark
overcoat with a hoody over the top of her head, with locks of dark hair
tangling down on both sides. She wanders by, snapping photos of
everything. As Whacko Boy notices Photo Girl, he quickly, nervously
returns to his reading.
PHOTO GIRL (O.S.)
Excuse me?
Whacko Boy looks up in confusion. PHOTO
GIRL is standing right in front of him. Her face is pale and
otherworldly. She peeks out at him through big eyeglasses and holds her old-fashioned camera in her hand.
PHOTO GIRL
Can you take a picture of me?
Whacko Boy closes his book and nods yes.
PHOTO GIRL
Oh. Great. Thank you so much. Alright, here, you take this and stand over here, and I’ll... sit on the bench?
He nods, takes the camera, and steps back, looking in the lens
and adjusting himself to get a good shot. Photo Girl sits down on
the bench.
PHOTO GIRL
How's this, any good?
Whacko Boy motions for her to move to the right.
PHOTO GIRL
How's that? Better?
As she scoots over, her hand bumps the shoebox and accidentally knocks it
off the bench. It falls to the ground. The HEART tumbles out of the box and hits the
pavement
with a loud CRASH, breaking to pieces. Whacko Boy suddenly KEELS OVER. Photo Girl looks at him in confusion.
PHOTO GIRL
Oh... are you alright?
Whacko boy falls lifelessly to the ground. Photo Girl sits there in puzzlement. She leans over to him and taps him with
her finger. He doesn't move. She looks over at the broken heart on the
pavement, and then back at him. Freaked out, she takes her camera from his
lifeless hand and quickly walks off, leaving Whacko Boy for dead in the park.
FADE TO BLACK.
FADE IN:
CU- WHACKO BOY’S EYES
They flicker open, sleepily looking from side to side.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM
Whacko Boy finds himself laid out on an operating table in a dark room.
He hears mumbling from the other side of the room, and looks over.
PAN ACROSS ROOM
On the other side of the room is another operating table. On this table
are the broken pieces of Whacko Boy’s heart. DR. DICK and DR. STANLEY
are standing over the heart, trying to assemble all of the pieces, as
if it was a puzzle. They speak in a doctor-like rushed monotone.
DR. DICK
Now I know how all the king’s horses and all the king’s men felt.
DR. STANLEY
I need an end piece.
DR. DICK
(hands him a piece)
Try that.
CU- DOCTORS
They simultaneously tilt their heads to the left.
CU- HEART
The heart is now completely put back together, except that one piece is missing.
CU- DOCTORS
They both stand waiting for the other to finish.
DR. STANLEY
You gonna get that last one?
DR. DICK
I thought you had it.
DR. STANLEY
...You’re kidding me right?
They exchange looks, then look back down at the heart.
DR. STANLEY
Well, I won’t tell if you don’t tell.
DR. DICK
Sounds like a deal.
CU- HEART
They grab the heart off the table.
FADE TO:
OPERATING TABLE- MOMENTS LATER
The doctors stand over Whacko Boy, who now has thick stitching on his
chest in the exact shape of a heart. Dr. Stanley is finishing sewing up
his chest while Dr. Dick uses a cloth to sop up some of the blood that
trickles out.
Dr. Stanley takes a giant pair of scissors and puts it up to the remaining thread, loudly cutting it.
CUT TO BLACK.
FADE IN:
EXT. MYSTERIOUS HOUSE- MORNING
The shady house on the cul-de-sac still has all of the curtains drawn.
Clevis and Conway stand at the far end of the cul-de-sac.
CONWAY
I'm telling you man, the kid's dangerous. I hear he murdered Old Man McGregor.
CLEVIS
But didn't Old Man McGregor die of a heart attack? -- Ohhh. I get it.
They nod at each other importantly. Suddenly Whacko Boy walks out his front door. The bullies take a few frightened steps back.
CONWAY
Man, let’s go.
They walk off the other way. Whacko Boy strolls along down the sidewalk.
FADE TO:
PARK- DAY
Whacko Boy walks with his hands in his pockets through the park, and
comes across the park bench. He stops there a moment, then hangs his
head and starts walking again. But then he stops, noticing something on
the ground.
CU- GROUND
It’s the piece of his heart, now all brown and dried up.
WHACKO BOY
He picks it up and looks it over. Deep in thought, he walks off.
CUT TO:
FIELD- AFTERNOON
Whacko Boy wanders out onto a large, empty green field. He stops and
looks around. Then he takes the piece of his heart out of his pocket
and drops it onto the ground, kicking dirt on top of it. He takes a
deep breath and sits down on the ground, resting his chin on his knees.
FADE TO:
FIELD- A LONG WHILE LATER
Whacko Boy is still sitting on the ground. Where he buried that piece
of his heart, a little red sprout has grown out from the ground.
FADE TO:
FIELD- ANOTHER LONG WHILE LATER
The red sprout has grown into a little red plant.
FADE TO:
FIELD- YET ANOTHER LONG WHILE LATER
The little red plant is now a small tree.
FADE TO:
FIELD
And finally, the small tree has become a giant tree. Big, red hearts
are hanging from its branches. Whacko Boy is still sitting there, not
moving at all, staring into space, stuck in a permanent state of
melancholy.
FADE TO BLACK.
The end
| | |
| people think i'm crazy or something. man. that fall air smell. i can
smell it in my nostrils right now. nostrils never lie, children.
...nostrils never lie.
i have become greatly inspired by this aroma. as proof:
more to come.
vegetable soup, cheese, and peter pan; these constitute a more pleasant afternoon than you might venture a guess.
the end.
| | |
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